How To Build Community

The people who created Skystone Solar Community admit is wasn’t always easy – but they say that living among their best friends makes all the hardships for building a community worth it. They offer this advice for anyone interested in following their path.

Make sure everyone shares the same goals. “If your heart isn’t in the same place – if you don’t have the same intent – it’s not going to work,” says Phil Bryson.

Commit – to each other and to the community. “You really need to be willing to invest in the community – energetically, financially, in just about any way you can imagine,” says Elizabeth Shephard.

Set boundaries, “Money, property, sexuality, spirituality – all the big subjects are right on the mat,” says Tom Lutes.

Be flexible, “You have to be able to roll with it when reality impinges on your visions,” says Phil Bryson.

Be a leaderless society. “The idea of having a designated leader just doesn’t work. Too much resentment builds up,” says Tom Lutes.

Everybody has to carry the load. “The big risk in having a community is the fantasy that it’s all la-la and wonderful – and there’s work to be done,” says Flame Lutes.

Lay it on the line. “People with a lot of secrets can really tear the heart out of a community,” says Tom Lutes.

Don’t expect to have everything figured out before you start. “Have the patience and flexibility to evolve with it,” says Elizabeth Corley.

Hang in there. "We had people who came and didn't stay, and I think the difference in those of us who stayed is that we believed it would work out," Elizabeth Corley says.

Best Friends

A group of longtime friends lives out a dream by forging a community in Bayfield, Colorado.

From Natural Home Magazine, Jan/Feb 2001
Story by Robyn Griggs Lawrence
Photography by Laurie Dickson

It's a concept many people dream about--but few ever achieve. And when a group of fourteen old friends purchased 160 acres of forested mountainside in Bayfield, Colorado, with the intention of building a community, even they weren't so sure how they would pull it off.

"Imagine getting fourteen adults to move, all at the same time--most having no jobs to come to,'' says Tom Lutes, who helped found Skystone Solar Community nearly a decade ago. The friends, many of whom had met fifteen years earlier, spent a year living together on an old farm site in Northern California before they held a ``visioning'' weekend to talk about their hopes of buying land together. After scouring the West, they happened upon the perfect place to fulfill their dream. Already subdivided into thirty-one lots, their property was close to Durango, Colorado, a town progressive enough to offer lattes, art films, and an airport, but small enough to satisfy the group's collective hankering to leave urban life behind. 

As the friends prepared to build homes, their original notion of creating a pueblo-style dwelling with a common area and private family suites succumbed to the reality of their lives. "We started to talk about what we'd do when we had kids, as things changed, and we kind of shifted that part of the vision to having our own plots and a common gathering place,'' Phil Bryson says. 

Each of the couples designed and built a house that fits their needs and personalities--with a little help from their neighbors, a la the Amish. The only stipulations were that the dwellings be off the grid and that the builders take down the minimum of trees during construction. "We wanted to live as lightly as possible so we could have the quality of life we wanted,'' Phil explains. "We also wanted to live lightly on the planet. We wanted time to focus on what's important--relationships and living life.''

Many of Skystone's founding members counsel others in communications and relationships, and building the community "took every skill we had,'' Tom says. "We're constantly putting ourselves into situations where the ego has to get out of the way. To give the community a chance to grow, you have to understand how the wishes of others can show you both the limitations and strengths of your way. It's a dance. You have to be interested in that dance, or it becomes a complication, a burden.''

"Or just another subdivision,'' adds his wife, Flame.

That’s not always easy, everyone agrees. "Sometimes it’s the pits,” says Lucy Bryson, who married into the community and, with her husband, Phil, is raising a son. "You get called on your stuff. But it’s also so freeing. We support each other in relationships and keep each other sane.”

Lucy Bryson can call any of her neighbors to babysit on a dime and she’s thrilled that her son, Lyle, is growing up with a "total community experience." Other residents talk about the practical benefits of community living such as nearby dog sitters and backyard barbecues.

“One of the really delightful things is when you go for a walk, you run into someone in the neighborhood, you know them, and you stop and have a friendly chat,” says Lloyd Fickett, whose neighbors spent three and a half days lifting bales for the straw bale home that he and his wife, Lynne, built at Skystone in 1996.

But for Skystone residents, the true meaning of community is something less tangible. “We’ve redefined love,” Tom Lutes says, "this is a dream that includes something bigger than yourself.”

"Community is a practice, not a thing." -Tom